Writing ScaRed

“I had lost it, my embers had all died out, but my love to pen is back – From the heart and not just words on a page.”
From me Heart.

This year, I began the journey to share who I am through the art of writing. I had the zeal of a baby who had just learned how to walk, talk, speak and was more than joyous to share my success and flaws (especially flaws) with the world. But I have not been true to myself and I guess you figured from my long, very looong hiatus that something was amiss. I told – more like lied to meself, that life got into the way – school, work, (non-existent) love-life, but the truth is, I was petrified.

I read countless blogs and never think I’m as good as all them writers out there, actually I still don’t. A writer whom I look up to pens the Dear Dorris, letters to Dorris blog. He executes these rib-tickling letters to ‘his girl’ with such ease and finnese. I so wish that I could do that, be that writer who is creative and witty and bold and funny and timeless – paint a master piece with my words. I am hoping that one day I will be able to ‘just write’, one day I won’t have a crippling fear that I won’t get it write – see what I did there?

With this said, I can’t be thaaat bad, I more than blessed to have been published in a national daily (happy dance!), not once or twice – the opportunities have been steadily streaming in, but each time I submit a piece, I am terrified. Maybe the first time was a fluke and this time, its utter rubbish. Maybe my stream of words is but a jumble of words on a screen or page. For the last month, I was scared to type anything, scaRed sh**tless! Fear immobilized me and all I could do was stare at my screen.

But I have come to the realization that life is scary, yet I still live to the fullest, pushing on bravely in spite of my fears. Like life, my writing is all about taking risks, will anyone read it, hate it, or maybe love it? I donno. All I can do is continue to scribble, scrawl and share it with the world. I am definitely not over my fears but I will continue to give life to words.

I will write from my heart.

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